They say that necessity is the mother of invention, but I think the real mother of invention is rampant commercialization.  I don’t mean “commercialization” in the sense of attributing monetary value to anything and everything, but rather the unchecked spread of television commercials.  I think people these days pretty much think, “If I can only get on a TV commercial, I’ll sell like gangbusters!”  And then they go on to think of some sort of product that their commercial can feature.

If you don’t believe me, just have a look at this product: The Snuggie. 

No, it’s not a device to yank your underwear up into your crack.  It’s a blanket…WITH SLEEVES!  I can picture the inventor sitting there thinking, “I’m cold, and I’m lazy.  If only I didn’t have to remove this blanket from my arms to answer the phone or read or knit or cuddle.  Curse you, traditional blanket!  Curse you and your inflexible warming method!” 

But then one day, the lightning of genius strikes this person.  Getting out of the shower, he mistakenly puts his bathrobe on backwards and… “ZOWIE! Somebody get me a TV commercial!”

(Thanks to Krista for pointing this out to me before it showed up on my Hotmail.)

Let me get this straight: You think that one of the richest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands, and your plan is to sue this person? Good luck.

UPDATE: This excellent and completely not pretend piece of journalism just in from the courtroom artist in the Batman suit (no, he’s not wearing the suit. It’s a lawsuit. Oh nevermind):

I was right!

Check out this lotto result which was the winning lottery on Nov. 5, 2008 (the day after the election) in Illinois–Obama’s home state.

Check it out yourself here. (Evening pick 3)

I think this may be the best internet video I’ve ever seen:

Horse statue vandals caught on tape in Saratoga Springs

Barack (6)  Hussein (7)  Obama (5)

6 + 7 + 5 = 18

(18/3 = 6) = (6 * 3 = 18)

Barack Hussein Obama = 666

Case closed.

It looks like the slightly more than half of the slightly more than half of the 18 and over “majority” have spoken. But fear not, my fellow Americans. In 258 days, I will at last turn 35 and will officially qualify for the Presidency. Then will all of our dreams finally be realized when I announce my self-nomination for 2012. Even now President-Elect Obama is about to take the stage, I expect to give his concession speech in light of my looming candidacy. Let’s hope he doesn’t mess things up too much before I can take office.

ELECTION UPDATE: North Carolina is still too close to call. I knew I should have voted more than once!

Well, after letting the episodes pile up on my DVR ever since the season opened, I finally bit the bullet and gave Heroes the boot last night.  I deleted all the stored up episodes as well as the series recording.  I realized that I kept saying, “I guess I have to watch Heroes at some point,” and if I’m saying that, it’s just not worth it.  As I look back, I think I only ever enjoyed the potential of that show, and rarely ever the show itself.  What a shame.

That said, I saw a trailer for an upcoming movie called Push that looks pretty interesting, and I thought, “Now THAT is more like what Heroes should have been.”  So we’ll wait and see if it holds up.

Piss-jitters (n): (Contributed by Charlotte “Chuck” Charles of Pushing Daisies)
That strange shiver that you get when you pee.  It appears to only happen to men, unless any of you ladies would like to refute that.

Example Usage:
“If someone gave me the piss-jitters, I’d ask him about the strange thing he said, not hide in the kitchen.”

Related Words:
Pee-shivers

Okay, so Donjuanica pointed this out to me originally, and I forwarded it to Atticusser, and some disparate opinions have arisen.  Donjuanica said “HIL-arious.”  I said it was “Funny because it’s really stupid.”  Atticusser says, “Not funny because the guys who made it think it is funny.”

So weigh in: Funny or not funny?  Somebody call the people at TBS, since they claim to know about these things.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1jPnm33Pkk