Recent developments in the biggest story of the past two centuries have revealed…

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/7571483.stm

…And I can die happy.  Last night, for the first time in my life, I watched Olympic Table Tennis.  I now know the pinnacle to which my aspirations in this dreary world might aspire. 

I’m a pretty fair hand at Ping Pong, as the other Minds can surely attest, so I’m pretty much sure I’m ready to go to Beijing.  I might want to add a few of these tricks to my bag first, though.

Michael Phelps swims.

This has been your Olympics Update.

Just when we thought he had it in the bag, Krasamir Gaydarski’s hopes of the Olympic Gold Medal for name were dashed by today’s newcomer.

[INSERT ENDLESS SUPPLY OF JOKES HERE]

http://results.beijing2008.cn/WRM/ENG/BIO/Athlete/8/205838.shtml

In related news, here’s today’s joke of the day:

What sense do Eastern European men use to detect homosexuality in other men?

(See link above for answer)

Oh wait…you’re dead.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,402882,00.html

In what promises to be the biggest story of the past two centuries, the body of the elusive and “surly” Bigfoot has apparently been found in a forest in northern Georgia. It is believed that Bigfoot had been hiding for the past four years, disguised as an officer in the Georgian military and that he is a casualty of the recent armed conflict with Russia.

News of Bigfoot’s whereabouts reportedly reached high ranking members of the Russian government, including President Medvedev, in late July of this year, setting off a fire-storm of inquiries and demand from the Russian citizens to see the Man-beast revealed. When Russian officials failed to respond with adequate promptness, certain citizens began turning to vigilantism.

Russo-Georgian relations began to deteriorate as more and more Russian nationals began leading tourist “Bigfoot hunting” expeditions into the forests of northern Georgia, and not finding anything of note, would become bored and frustrated, which often led to what one Georgian official referred to as “Tom Foolery.”

The match hit the tinder box in August, when during one such excursion, three bored Russians actually happened upon Bigfoot as he was napping in a sunny meadow. After so many days of exhaustive searching, it is believed that the Russian hikers escaped their boredom by filling Bigfoot’s massive sleeping hand with shaving cream, and then tickling his nose with a long weed, causing Bigfoot to swat at what his sleeping mind believed was some kind of flying pest, effectively covering his face in shaving cream. The prank ended in disaster for the Russians, whose bodies were later found tied in bows around a near by tree trunk. The incident sent the tenuous relationship between Russia and Georgia over the tipping point, leading to weeks of armed conflict.

When asked to describe Captain Sas K. Watch–Bigfoot’s assumed military identity–a soldier who served under him characterized him as “surly” and “kinda stinky, especially up close.”

Happily, bowing to U.S. pressure, Russia has ceased all military operations in Geogia this week and has begun withdrawing troops. A happy ending for all. Except Bigfoot. And the hikers. And the other casualties of the conflict.

For years, conspiracy theorists and yeti enthusiasts have maintained that Bigfoot’s true identity is none other than Cain, who murdered his brother Abel and was cursed by God to walk the earth forever as a black-skinned beast.

Bigfoot’s body will be revealed at a press conference scheduled for later this week. Funeral and memorial services will be held throughout the world on Sunday.

Tramptastic (adj): (Contributed by Krista and Stacy London)
Of the quality pertaining to tramps (like the skanks, not like the hobos or the cartoon dogs).

Example Usage:
“Those shoes are tramptastic.”

Related Words:
Tramplicious

Disclaimer:
MightyThor does not watch What Not to Wear, but his wife watches it religiously.

I might be reading this right over your shoulder!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7553061.stm

Sorry to out you on the whole Rock thing, dood, but your wife wanted to know.  I think it’s time for an intervention.

Donjuanica’s Screensaver:

Okay, so the Rock is not actually featured in this post. Sorry, Donjuanica, I know how you love him so (you should see his screensaver…yikes).

I just watched the newly released trailer for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, due out around Thanksgiving, and I have to say that I’m really excited about it. It looks to be maturing and darkening and creepen…ing…just like the books did at this same stage in the overall story. I’m a huge fan of the books, but I’ve been lukewarm on most of the movie adaptations so far, which have for the most part suffered by comparison to their source material, though I will say that they’ve improved with each edition, culminating with Order of the Phoenix. In fact, here’s my overall assessment to date:

1. Sorcerer’s Stone: Great casting, great visuals, terrible acting, especially by the kids. It really needed the directing of Andrew Adamson, who worked magic with those kids in Narnia, making them really believable.
2. Chamber of Secrets: Perfect casting (especially Gilderoy Lockhart), great visuals, still some bad acting.
3. Prisoner of Azkaban: I liked it a lot on first viewing, very visually interesting, now I can’t stand it. Every time I see a little of it on TV, I want to strangle Alfonso Cuaron and the morons who selected him to direct it because of all the stupid little things he did and did not do with the project. And oh how I miss Richard Harris, who was absolutely perfect as Dumbledore.
4. Goblet of Fire: This is where things started to really improve. I didn’t love it at first, mostly because I thought there were issues with the portrayal of some characters, but on second viewing, I enjoyed it much more. Again, the casting was brilliant, especially Mad-Eye Moody, and Voldemort was very creepy looking.
5. Order of the Phoenix: This was the first one that I really loved, and I loved it even more the second time around. The casting was amazing (see Dolores Umbridge), the treatment of the book’s material was spot-on, and I finally liked the way Michael Gambon portrayed Dumbledore. Voldemort was better acted in this one than in Goblet too, not so over the top.

So I couldn’t be more pleased that they’ve brought director David Yates back after doing such an amazing job on Phoenix, and he’s also on for Deathly Hallows. But here’s the twist: they’re breaking Deathly Hallows up into two films (see article), to be filmed concurrently and released six months apart. If they’re really doing it to preserve the whole content of the book as they claim, then it could be a great decision. Time will tell.

The same holds true about another of my all time favorites that’s undergoing similar treatment. I’m very excited that they’re finally moving forward on production of The Hobbit, but they are also making two movies out of it, or rather The Hobbit and an unexpected sequel. The sequel is not going to be based on Tolkien’s actual written material, but rather on the lore that would fill the void of time between the end of The Hobbit and the beginning of LOTR. The director they’ve got on board, Guillermo Del Toro, is known for his visual style, which should lend itself to a tale like the Hobbit, so it all sounds promising so far. As much as I loved LOTR, I’m glad that Peter Jackson is producing but isn’t directing. I think Del Toro will bring a fresh take to Middle Earth.

So humongous and hearty kudos to the people behind the Harry Potter movies for finally getting the right man at the helm and keeping him there through the finish line. Here’s hoping that movies 6 and 7 (and 8, I guess) are as well done as 5 was, or even better. Based on the trailer, I’m very encouraged.