“So, Mr. Obscenely Huge Bank Director, explain to us, as best you can, what exactly happened to the trillions of dollars that you were supposed to be responsible for on behalf of the American public.”

“Uh…SURPRISE!”

…Yeah, I think that would have worked. Although now that I write it down, I wonder if the bank director did what he did because people had cruelly dubbed him “obscenely huge.” Maybe it’s glandular, people!

A magician is about to perform his final trick for his show and asks for a volunteer from the audience. He selects a large man from the front of the crowd and gives the man a hammer.

“Sir,” the magician says, “I want you to hit me on the head with this hammer.”

Two weeks later, the magician awakes from a coma, sits up suddenly in his hospital bed and shouts, “TA-DAH!!”

I know, this doesn’t exactly compare, but both punchlines are equally effective.