Comments on: Kicking off the new year…swiftly in the pants http://www.thisisthelastword.com/blog/2009/01/06/what-a-great-way-to-end-the-holidays/ Just another WordPress weblog Fri, 07 May 2010 14:21:48 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: Suzanne http://www.thisisthelastword.com/blog/2009/01/06/what-a-great-way-to-end-the-holidays/comment-page-1/#comment-234 Suzanne Tue, 06 Jan 2009 22:01:10 +0000 http://www.thisisthelastword.com/blog/?p=117#comment-234 The article was fabulous, but the article linked at the bottom has it beat: "Woman who set husband's testicles on fire charged with murder". Remind me to never move to the UK where people dress in large quantities of tin foil and set their spouse's privates on fire. The article was fabulous, but the article linked at the bottom has it beat: “Woman who set husband’s testicles on fire charged with murder”. Remind me to never move to the UK where people dress in large quantities of tin foil and set their spouse’s privates on fire.

]]> By: MrHattyHat http://www.thisisthelastword.com/blog/2009/01/06/what-a-great-way-to-end-the-holidays/comment-page-1/#comment-233 MrHattyHat Tue, 06 Jan 2009 19:43:40 +0000 http://www.thisisthelastword.com/blog/?p=117#comment-233 Oh! Man...I finally understand the metaphor of Lord of the Rings. It's all about weight loss! See, Sauron became an evil Lord because he had been teased about being chubby as a kid. Finally, after many years of struggle, a certain personal fitness coach named Isildur "cut off" the extra weight...but sadly didn't teach Sauron the proper methods for actually being rid of the weight forever (he didn't "destroy" the weight). So Sauron, despite his best efforts, was forever hounded by that extra "ring" of body fat, because after all, as they say, "it <i>wants</i> to be found." Then along come those meddling "Hobbits" (the analog for jelly donuts), carrying the ring with them straight into the belly of the beast (a thinly veiled reference to ingestion), into the very "heart of Mount Doom." And so fell Sauron, the analogous everyman who falls victim to heart disease and other ailments incident to the grave and gathering dangers of the obesity epidemic. Man, and all this time I thought Lord of the Rings was a Hobbit love story. Boy was I wrong. Oh! Man…I finally understand the metaphor of Lord of the Rings. It’s all about weight loss! See, Sauron became an evil Lord because he had been teased about being chubby as a kid. Finally, after many years of struggle, a certain personal fitness coach named Isildur “cut off” the extra weight…but sadly didn’t teach Sauron the proper methods for actually being rid of the weight forever (he didn’t “destroy” the weight).

So Sauron, despite his best efforts, was forever hounded by that extra “ring” of body fat, because after all, as they say, “it wants to be found.”

Then along come those meddling “Hobbits” (the analog for jelly donuts), carrying the ring with them straight into the belly of the beast (a thinly veiled reference to ingestion), into the very “heart of Mount Doom.”

And so fell Sauron, the analogous everyman who falls victim to heart disease and other ailments incident to the grave and gathering dangers of the obesity epidemic.

Man, and all this time I thought Lord of the Rings was a Hobbit love story. Boy was I wrong.

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