If You Can Read This, Wash Your Hands
What you can’t see (thanks to the amazing “no-rez” technology of my phone’s camera) in the picture below taken in the men’s room at Barnes & Noble, is that the seemingly blank green area under the “must wash hands” sign is actually the braille version of, I assume, the same sign.
Three curiosities come to mind:
- For some reason, it seems a bit cruel to have blind employees at a bookstore.
- How exactly are blind employees to know that they should rub their fingers along the wall above the paper towel dispenser in order to note the hand-washing policy?
- What if they already washed their hands before they read the sign? Should they do it again? (I certainly hope so.)
As a more effective alternative, I might suggest that they print the policy in Braille right on the toilet paper. That way, it’s guaranteed to be noticed (at least by those in the number 2 category) and as a bonus it would double as quilting, which the people at Northern have convinced me is a crucial element of any toilet paper .
January 21st, 2009 at 5:34 pm
How can we be sure that the quilting on Northern brand toilet paper doesn’t already contain a message in braille? We could recruit a blind person to feel the toilet paper and tell us what it says, but when said blind person (a.k.a. Blindy) replies, “It doesn’t say anything,” how will we know he isn’t lying to cover up the conspiracy? He is, after all, blind, so the message is obviously intended to be read by him. The whole point of putting it in braille would be to hide it from the establishment, run by all of us seers.
No, no. Blindy cannot be trusted. I see two options:
1. We infiltrate the highest levels of Northern’s production facility and look for an abundance of blind people, or a braille typing toilet paper quilter, or or anti-sight propoganda, or some other manner of evidence of the conspiracy.
2. One of us learns braille. Granted the blind conspiracy will be expecting that, and they won’t teach braille to just anybody, so we’ll have to make our mole very convincing. One of us will have to put out his own eyes. NOT IT! Also, we’ll have to put a chip into the mole’s brain to watch for signs that his newly acquired condition isn’t making him sympathetic to the cause of the conspiracy or susceptible to their brainwashing. That chip will have to be rigged to detonate the brain of the mole at the first sign of trouble. So let me reiterate: NOT IT!
January 27th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
heeheehee…ewwww…heeheehee
NOT IT, also.