The Nerds are Arming themselves!
Fortunately for the rest of us, they’ll never overcome their game-universe rivalries in order to band together, or we’d have a real problem on our hands. Also, the fact that they’ve decided to arm themselves with precise replicas from video games and comic books pretty much wins the battle for our side, as you’ll see from the videos below.
#3 – Retractable Wolverine claws: These are actually pretty cool, and would make great accessories for Halloween. The guy might even seem dangerous were it not for his having chosen to demonstrate his weapons by leaping (with the help of a discreetly placed exercise trampoline in the background, you’ll notice) fiercely at an unsuspecting cardboard box perched precariously on a cheap barstool in his dorm room.
#2 – Lancer Rifle with Chainsaw Bayonet (Gears of War): This is probably the most overtly dangerous one of the bunch, as it fires actual bullets. However, as the pumpkins aptly demonstrate, if you hold perfectly still, the wielder stands pretty much a .0001% chance of actually hitting you as he’s rushing toward you and firing into the log at your feet. When he gets close enough to use the “chainsaw bayonet” you might be in trouble, so I recommend using the convenient pause in combat while he starts up the little motor on his mom’s limb trimmer to either run away or kick the guy in his man parts.
#1 – Cloud Buster Sword (Final Fantasy 7): Again, the first impression is very menacing, especially with the straight from the highlands Scottish blacksmith guy running at you and screaming with that giant sword. But wait for it…wait for it…The real danger here is when he gets you laughing so hard that you forget to dodge during one of the 30 second periods during which he’s working the blade into what you might call a swing.
So know this, nerds: I’M ON TO YOU!
May 21st, 2009 at 11:26 am
We might be in for an all out war between the above-mentioned nerds and the geeks.
May 21st, 2009 at 4:02 pm
The scariest thing of all videos was the woman with the unnerving cackle somewhere off-screen (or invisible?) in the 2nd one. She sounded much more menacing than the actual chainsaw gun, which would be alot cooler if it actually shot tiny chainsaw bullets.
Also, the guy with the sword didn’t really chop those pallets so much as slap them with the blade. I didn’t even watch long enough to see if he ever got through more than 1 of the boards which were clearly made of some extremely dense material… pine. Point: pallets!
Just remember, chainsaw guns don’t kill people. People with chainsaw guns kill people. Except people with chainsaw guns that are only capable of killing people with the approximate mobility of a pumpkin — and even then there’s a chance that those people will roll away unharmed. Those people are more likely to kill themselves by accident.
But at least we know who to go to in the event of a coup attempt by a conspiratorial group of cardboard boxes, pumpkins and shipping pallets.
June 27th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
So we’re all seriously going to pretend that none of us want the Wolverine claws? Okay…
July 27th, 2009 at 5:58 pm
Wow.. its so nice to a see a blog with fresh content. Keep up the good work guys.