It wasn’t my post to update, but since Gee-Rant and Atticusser were both so vehement in their comments about the Invention of the Day requiring a sketch or schematic, I felt that MrHattyHat’s ingenious invention wasn’t getting a fair shake, so I took it upon myself to lend a hand.  I hope that my interpretation is true to MHH’s original vision for the device.

I know most of you, our avid Word readership, spend countless hours reading and re-reading the posts we write for this blog, and you’re wondering to yourselves, “Selves, how do the Minds come up with all their profound and fantastic notions?”  Well the following chat transcript should give you a little peek into the minds of the Minds, two of us at least, to show you how we come up with our particularly inspired brand of magic.

Thor:How’s that synthetic cow coming along?
atticusser: awaiting funding
Thor: What???
Thor: Stupid buer…burr
Thor: …buaer…
Thor: I have no idea how to spell burocracy
atticusser: bureaucracy
Thor: bureaucracy
Thor: That is a stupid word.
atticusser: well, it is french in origin
Thor: That is a stupid originally French word.
atticusser: indeed
Thor: Did you know that English is derived from a combination of French and German?
atticusser: I think english is derived from a combination of awesome
Thor: Before England was really England, it was populated by French speaking nobility and German speaking commoners.
Thor: That’s why we have two words for so many things.
atticusser: look, I already read “The Mother Tongue”
Thor: Huh?
atticusser: wow
Thor: Wow what?
atticusser: I just experienced a super-colossal meltdown of my system
atticusser: that’s never happened to me before on linux
Thor: I was having a very similar problem two days ago.
Thor: I spent the whole day fighting with my stupid computer.
Thor: Of course, I run Windows, so it’s expected.
atticusser: what kind of weapons were you using?
Thor: A bo staff.
atticusser: nunchuks?
Thor: No, Atticusser.
Thor: They’re called Nuchaku.
Thor: Seriously.
atticusser: no that’s different
Thor: Only because I spelled it wrong.
Thor: Nunchaku.
atticusser: I mean nunchuks
atticusser: those things that nuns chuck at you
Thor: Exploding bibles? No I didn’t have any of those.
Thor: But that would have come in handy.
atticusser: too bad
Thor: That’s also different than a Nunchucker, which I really could have used.
atticusser: you know what they say, “the pen is mightier than the sword”
atticusser: of course, the guy that wrote that later had his head cut off by a sword that sliced right through the pen he was using to defend himself
Thor: Showed him.
Thor: What if I got a really big sword and attached a pen to the end of it?
Thor: Then I could either lop your melon off or draw a moustache on your lip at sword point.
atticusser: I think that was his assumption
atticusser: the pen/sword combo is mightier than just the plain old sword
Thor: They should really have specified that.
atticusser: plus you can first mark where you intend to slash with your sword
atticusser: so you know where to aim
Thor: It’s that kind of generality that gets people’s pens cut in half and their heads cut off all the time.
atticusser: an even better idea would be a pen that double as a light saber
atticusser: but you’d have to be careful which button you push
Thor: OR A FISHING POLE!
atticusser: I think the fishing pole has been done
Thor: You have seen those commercials, I assume?
atticusser: yes
Thor: What a fantastic idea that is. Almost as good as the Snuggie.
atticusser: imagine if they were combined
atticusser: the awesome power you would wield!
Thor: But you know what would be even better than a pen/light saber combo? A pen/nunchucker/nuchuks combo.
Thor: It’s a pen that produces a guy that chucks nuns who in turn chuck exploding bibles.
atticusser: this reminds of an idea I had for the blog
atticusser: I already introduced the “question of the day” category
Thor: Which I did enjoy.
atticusser: but I intend to extend that to the “invention of the day” category
Thor: Well a precedent has been established.
Thor: With the faux cow milk machine and the whole post on the snuggie.
atticusser: because I have too many invention ideas in my head to not publish them to some kind of blog
Thor: It does seem the proper venue.
atticusser: yes, it’s a veritable thinktank

Now I realize that Donjuanica is the only other Word contributor who plays WoW with me, but I think everyone here can appreciate this little pop culture crossover easter egg I found in the game.  I was flying over Bittertide Lake in Sholazar Basin when I saw this tiny little island with a strangely familiar feature on it.  Check out the tooltip that appeared when I moused over it.

(Click image to enlarge)

Now I have to watch out for a rare epic black smoke monster, which I bet will drop some phat lewtz when I pwn it.  (That’s what Mrs. MightyThor would call NerdSpeak.)

I’ll give fair warning right from the outset here: this is a rant post.  If your opinion of American Idol is too dear to you or too fragile to withstand criticism, you might want to stop reading right now.  For those of you wearing your big boy pants, let us proceed.

So I watch American Idol.  There are a lot of people around my office who try to ridicule me for admitting that (all of whom I’m convinced watch the show in secret themselves), but in my opinion, the show is pretty entertaining, especially at the beginning when you get to watch all the lunatics who just want to get on TV.

Well I think I’ve about had all I can stand of the show after last night’s episode, in which the eight wildcard hopefuls were selected by the judges.  Here’s my issue: if the producers of the show were even thinly masking their shameless ploys for ratings in the past, they’ve stepped right out into the open now by picking Tatiana Del Toro as a wildcard possibility.  She is quite possibly the single most obnoxious, ridiculous, annoying person living on the planet today, and the fact that the judges continue to advance her through from round to round can only mean that they know how annoying she is, and that America will watch because they can’t stand her.  Good quality singers got snubbed from the wildcard round last night so this girl could go through and Idol could boost its ratings.  In my opinion, that pretty much obliterates the credibility of the show and the claim the judges make so often over the course of each season that “This is a singing contest.”

Yeah, right.

It’s a selling contest, plain and simple.  The judges have used the word “commercial” about the contestants enough this season already to make the price tags plain to see.  I have no problem with that part of it, it’s the shameless ploys for ratings that drive me nuts.  So pay attention, Idol: your ploys are backfiring.  The annoying people you put through are so nails-down-a-chalkboard grating to my nerves that I can’t stand to watch anymore.  If Tatiana gets through to the top 12 tonight, I’m done with the show for good, I swear it.

Also, on a side note, I think this year’s crop of contestants pretty much stinks.  It’s gonna come down to Danny Gokey and Lil Rounds for the finals, that much is as good as scripted.  The group of people that performed last night was awful for the most part.  And does anybody notice a trend with the judges?  Jorge Nunez was okay, but not phenomenal, but the judges lauded over him like crazy because he’s “living the dream,” coming from Puerto Rico to Hollywood and all that.  Scott MacIntyre (the blind guy) seems like a genuinely nice guy, and with the piano he’s good, but his voice alone is really not that spectacular, but Kara actually said, “You move mountains when you take the stage.”  Huh?  Move mountains?  Really?  It just seemed all a little too affirmative action to my taste. Even Danny Gokey, whose voice I like, seems to be getting a lot of play because of his story, his wife having recently passed away and all.

So if it’s really a singing contest, let’s stick to the singing.  That’s my final word.

You know those stickers people put in the back windows of their cars to represent their families?  Like the two big turtles and the five little turtles, one for each kid, or the Daddy and Mommy and kids all wearing Mickey Mouse ears like Donjuanica has on his car.  Well this is a set of those I saw in the parking lot of my church on Sunday.

I’m all for getting to know my neighbors, but this feels like I’m getting to know waaaaay more about them than I’m comfortable with.

If there is some other interpretation of these than the obvious one, sombody please tell me.  Otherwise, I maintain my official stance, which is: ewwww.

At the risk of being a follower, I have been sorely neglecting my new year’s resolution to waste more time on the Internet this year, at least as far as writing on the Blog is concerned.  I do read my World of Warcraft blogs regularly (don’t you worry, kids!), and I even logged onto Facebook this morning and confirmed a few people as friends, which is a rare event indeed, as I’m quite frightened of Facebook and its creepy habit of making people from the distant past reappear.  Anyway, so I’m going to let MrHattyHat’s recent post inspire me to copycat-ism, and post a follow-up on this season’s television lineup, which I wrote a preview post on some time ago.

So based on the shows I expressed interest in previously, here’s how the season has shaken down:

1. Fringe: Fox keeps calling it their smash hit, but I gave up on it early, and I think MrHattyHat is generally right about it, though I don’t feel so strongly as he does.
2. Knight Rider: I cannot express strongly enough my surprise that this lasted beyond the pilot, which I choked down 15 minutes of before my brain sprouted hands through my ears in order to poke out my eyes.
3. Life on Mars: Pretty lame.  Journeyman was way more interesting by the time it got cancelled.  Dropped it from the DVR after two episodes.
4. Kath & Kim: Not nearly as funny as it might have been.  Dropped it after one episode.
5. My Own Worst Enemy: I dropped this one after four or five episodes, and then it was cancelled.  It had potential but was way too convoluted. 
6. Eleventh Hour: I never actually watched this one.  Too derivative of CSI.
7. Crusoe: By the time this premiered, it was plain to see it was way too closer to the Charmed side of the production value scale, and not near enough to the Rome side, as it was supposed to be.
8. Kings (NBC: Winter): This one’s about to start, but it looks much less interesting now than it sounded before.  I doubt I’ll bother with it.

Other shows I’m watching that are coming back:

1. Bones: Still watching this one.  It probably fits the same criteria as MrHattyHat’s description of 24, but I’m interested in the characters now.  By and large, it’s ridiculous, but still entertaining.  I think the same way about House, which I now watch on USA once in a while.
2. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: I liked this show, but I just never made time for it.  I would probably get it from Netflix sometime and catch up on it.
3. Supernatural: I’m still into this show, but it gets bumped all the time because Thursday is too crowded.  I’ll catch up online.
4. Heroes: Emphatically dropped.
5. Chuck: Still good, still watching. 
6. The Office: I like that its short and funny.  I laughed my butt off after the Super Bowl when Angela threw her cat up into the ceiling.
7. Life: I’m glad this show is seeing a revival.  It’s one of my current favorites.  Charlie Crews is a great character.
8. Pushing Daisies: Still love the writing.  Still watching.
9. CSI: I still like this show, but I haven’t been able to watch much because it’s on crowded Thursdays.  I need to catch up on what I’ve missed.  I think Laurence Fishburne has taken the place of the departed William “Gil Grissom” Petersen, which is a shame, because he was good on the show.
10. Lost: I’m of pretty much the same mind as MrHattyHat on Lost.  I used to really love this show, but its harder and harder to follow.  I’m still invested in the characters, but its starting to lose its grip on me.  The fact that they have to make a whole other show called Lost: Untangled just to explain the show to people can’t be a good thing.  They’ve made the mistake of stretching the mysteries out over too much time, and now when they try to make these big reveals, people just scratch their heads, trying to remember why that particular revelation was significant.  I’m still watching, but its getting closer to the edge.

 

My 2 year old son is a Thomas the Tank Engine nut, which is as much a joy as you can possibly imagine, getting to watch episodes of Thomas over and over again until I could perform them flawlessly on streetcorners for the delight of passersby.  Well for Christmas I gave him the DVD of the Thomas feature film, entitled The Great Discovery.  The movie is all well and good, narrated by Pierce Brosnan, which is a nice little change from Alec Baldwin and George Carlin, and apparently Ringo Starr, though I’ve never seen any of the episodes he voiced as yet, but give it time. 

At the end of the movie, the usual theme song plays, which I’ve heard already a million times.  It’s fairly annoying with the choir of British kids singing, but otherwise typical stuff and relatively harmless.  To give yourself some context, you should listen to at least the first line or two of it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw522GIskVc.

The real treat, though, is the new version of the theme song, which plays right after the original version on the DVD.  Got that pencil handy?  Good.  You’ll need it to rupture your eardrums in a second, and probably to jam up your nose in an hour or so for the purpose of self-lobotomization when this gets stuck in your head: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETSz0g9KP-Q.

It’s been a long holiday break from the blogosphere, but among my resolutions for the new year, I’ve determined to become a more committed blogger, feeding what I’m sure is a ravenous readership out there waiting to hear every word that proceeds from the Minds here at the Word.  Sure, I could resolve to lose weight or to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro, but I find that lost weight only seeks to be found again later, and on principle I refuse to associate myself with any mountain whose name begins with the syllables “Kill A Man.” 

So instead I’m resolved to waste even more time with my butt glued to my computer chair, living in a fantasy digital world, and since I can’t pwn newbs at work, I SHALL BLOG!!!  You may proceed henceforth to call me Monseigneur Jellybooty…NO NO!  Captain Monseigneur Jellybooty! 

Okay, okay, so I’ll probably just blog the same amount as usual, but I felt like I ought to pay some homage to 2009 as it begins, even if it is just lip service.

And for those of you who actually are part of the already loyal Word readership, here’s a little gem to start your year off on the right foot:
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/article.html?Burglar_scared_off_by_man_dressed_as_Thor&in_article_id=457205&in_page_id=2

Thanks to Atticusser for the link.

I just went over to the Pioneer Purevision Las Vegas Bowl website to confirm the date of the game, and this image showed up in the little slideshow on the site, and I thought, “Wow.  Could those two guys look any more goofy and uncomfortable in the company of a couple of scantily clad Vegas showgirls?”  (Not to be confused with vegan showgirls, which I almost typed by accident.  Also, The Vegan Showgirls WBAGNFARB.)

Bronco (right) looks like he’s wired his jaw shut, and the Arizona coach (left) is clearly saying, “Hooooochie mama!”

I would like to report that yesterday I filled the tank of my Isuzu Rodeo, which has been costing me upwards of $60 a tank for months, for a whopping $26.25.  I paid $1.58/gal at Costco.

I would like to believe it’s just a small bit of good news amid all the economic doomsday talk and dreary market conditions, but I’m finding that difficult to swallow.  Somebody’s trying to pull a fast one, and to whoever it is, I’m saying, “HEY!  I’M ON TO YOU!”

Also, please don’t make the gas prices go up again.