Archive for the ‘Movie Reviews’ Category

Batman’s Next Villain

Monday, August 4th, 2008

The cat’s out of the bag: the villain of the next Batman film is none other than…

PUMPKINHEAD!!

Pumpkinhead

Ok, so here’s the story:

After dying a horrible, fiery death in this summer’s smash hit, The Dark Knight, Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gyllenhaal) returns as the horribly disfigured Pumpkinhead to exact her revenge on the caped crusader who failed to save her from her explosive demise.

Ok, ok, so here’s the real story:

This guy I work with liked the movie except for Maggie Gyllenhaal, who he argued is the ugliest girl ever, and who looks like a “rotten old pumpkin.”  Determined to validate his assessment, he got online and found a picture of an old pumpkin and then set about finding a photo of Ms. Gyllenhaal that matched.  Sadly for her, it actually didn’t take more than about a minute.

Behold the results.

Movie Review: WALL-E

Monday, July 21st, 2008

To be honest, I didn’t have a whole lot of interest in seeing Pixar’s latest contribution to the American cinemascape, WALL-E. I remember seeing the first trailers for it and thinking, “boy, I really don’t see how they can make that story very interesting.” But, with family in town for the 4th of July, and being out-voted about what to see (actually there was no vote and I didn’t put up any fight…everyone else just wanted to see it, so I went), I’m happy to report that I couldn’t have been more wrong.

My mood going in wasn’t helped at all by the fact that I had woken early that morning after only four hours of sleep to play a golf with MightyThor, which proved to be a waste of several good hours that could have been used for sleep. I played like an idiot and was happy to get it behind me. I tried to catch a nap before heading out to the movie, but by the time I had settled into a deep and restorative slumber, it was time to go. Needless to say, I was pretty cranky waking up.

The moodiness wore off soon enough, aided by the animated short that preceded the feature. The short had the simplest of premises: a magician attempting that age-old magician’s staple of pulling a rabbit out of his hat. Simple and–thanks to Pixar’s amazing knack for character creation, artistic rendering, and brilliantly observed idiosyncrasies–hilarious. I won’t go into details of the hijinx that ensues as the magician tries to force his rabbit to perform, but suffice it to say, it’s a gem well worth arriving at the theater on time to catch.

A few minutes of rich belly laughs and my mood was lightened tremendously, so as the curtain rose on the feature (figuratively speaking), I was ready to be entertained, although still a little unsure of what to expect.

What followed was nothing short of brilliance as the stage–a wasted, refuse ridden version of some future Earth–was set. WALL-E is a small compactor robot who was left behind as the human race made its exodus from the no-longer viable Earth into giant spaceships until the planet can be reclaimed. His directive is simple: clean the place up. So he spends his days zipping around the planet, between the towers of garbage that have taken on the appearance of a metropolitan city scape (amazingly rendered by Pixar), picking up trash and stuffing it inside his internal compactor. When full, he crushes the garbage into cubes, spits them back out and stacks them on the next skyscraper pile.

For the first twenty or so minutes of the film, there is literally no dialog. WALL-E is alone, and though he is a robot, he has developed a penchant for collecting certain elements of human memorabilia that he finds interesting for one reason or another. One such collected artifact is a tape of My Fair Lady that WALL-E watches at night when his day’s work is complete.

One of the big surprises of the movie is an unexpectedly sweet love story. Once the scene on Earth is adequately set, a probe from the humans is sent back to Earth to search for signs of change in the atmosphere that might make Earth inhabitable again. This probe–a much more futuristic and elegant looking robot that flies and boasts some pretty wicked weaponry–is of decidedly female persona, and at one glance, WALL-E falls in love.

The rest of the movie follows WALL-E’s adventure as he follows this robot, aptly named EVE, back into space after he gives her a living plant that he has found in his digging. The discovery of the plant activates EVE’s prime directive–proof of viable living conditions on Earth–and summons the ship that brought her to come pick her up and take her back to the larger human space civilization. WALL-E, unbeknownst to EVE, tags along.

I’ll leave the narrative there and leave the enjoyment of the rest of the picture up to you. I’ll only say this much more: WALL-E surprised me in nearly every way. It’s visually stunning, heart warming, and of course, hilarious. And as much as I was afraid it would, WALL-E’s warning message about the degradation of humanity and its effect on the planet (or vice versa if you prefer) doesn’t feel preachy or condescending. In fact, it’s quite effective in its understated packaging, much more so than it would have been were it a more threatening and overt condemnation of man’s gluttonous consumerism.

All things considered, I have no hesitation about designating WALL-E as the best movie of the year, by a long shot. It’s a must-see and if possible, it’s a must-see on the big screen. And there really is so much to see.

Overall Rating: Must See! or Four Stars, or Thumb’s Up, or I Grok, or whatever floats your boat as far as ratings go. Just see the movie.

Movie Review: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008
Collective Rating: 3 / 5 Bull Whips
Indiana Jones 4: 3 / 5 Bull Whips
MightyThor: 3
Comments: It was entertaining to see Dr. Jones back in action, and I thought Shia LaBeouf was a good addition (he’s been great in everything he’s done, I think).  I also thought they did a nice job of expressing the history that had passed in the lives of the characters since The Last Crusade, and in capturing the essence of the times for this movie, with the red scare and all that.  However, I was disappointed by the main storyline.  The previous movies had all been about religious artifacts and questions about the existence and power of God, so the whole alien skull thing just didn’t wash with me.  It felt very politically correct, as if they were afraid to approach religion in today’s world.  Also, I want to smack George Lucas upside the head for going so overboard on the cheese factor.  All the movies have had a certain amount of over-the-top action, but it always felt acceptable in the confines of the story, and believable as such, but this one was quite a stretch.

Because it’s Indy, and he deserves to be seen on the big screen, I’ll give it a Matinee Worthy:

Manatees Love Matinees
MrHattyHat: 3
Comments:
Donjuanica: 3.5
Comments:

Movie Review: Iron Man

Tuesday, May 27th, 2008
Collective Rating: 4 / 5 Iron Helmets
Iron Man: 4/5 Iron Helmets
MightyThor: 4
Comments: Great summer moviegoing fare, and the best superhero movie since the first SpiderMan. The only part I didn’t love was the big fight at the end.
*Addendum - I must correct myself. As MrHattyHat astutely pointed out, I forgot about Batman Begins, which was far and away the best superhero movie ever. My bad.
I’ll give Iron Man a solid Matinee Worthy:
Manatees Love Matinees
MrHattyHat: 3.5
Comments: Though I thoroughly enjoyed the Iron Man experience, I did so mostly because my expectations for it were quite low. That’s not to say it wasn’t a lot of fun, and Robert Downey, Jr. played the Tony Stark character to its sardonic hilt (at least according to my limited understanding of the original comic book character), but I was far less enthused by this than, say, Batman Begins–the gold standard for comic books movies, in my opinion. On that point I’ll disagree with MtyThor: I think it was better than Spider-Man (which I thought was kind of blah), but didn’t hold a candle to Christopher Nolan’s telling of the origin of the Dark Knight (not to be confused with the as yet unreleased Dark Knight film…review forthcoming).
 
Props to Jon Favreau for a successful introduction into the world of action film direction. It wasn’t a turn of genius, but passable and worthy of follow up efforts.

All in all, definitely worth a see, though so I’ll echo MtyThor’s overall rating:

Matinee Worthy

Donjuanica: 4
Comments:

MightyThor’s Moviegoing Philosphy

Tuesday, May 27th, 2008

Before I get into the writing of any actual movie reviews, I think it’s important that I lay out my philosophy about movies in general, so here goes.

I’m not a picky movie viewer.  What I look for, first and foremost, is to be entertained.  When I sit down in a theater (or in front of the TV or with a new video game or a book), I’m looking to be engaged by the characters and drawn into their world and their story for a while.  Movies have it easy, comparatively.  They only have to hold my attention for the span of about 2 hours.  If I’m looking at my watch partway through, they’re not doing their job very well. With that in mind, you’d think it would be a fairly simple matter to tell an engaging story that will make me glad I took the time to watch.  That seems harder and harder for Hollywood to actually pull off, though. 

So my perspective on reviewing movies comes down to how much money do I think this movie was worth paying to see.  My rating system breaks down like this:

Wow this is a good movie.
One Film to Rule them All (AKA: The Brass Ring): This movie was good enough to justify waiting in a huge line  on a weekend night, selling a kidney to pay for tickets for you and most likely a date (who will surely want candy and popcorn that the theater must have imported from France or outer space, judging by the prices), and then spending two and a half hours crammed into a seat between Fatty J. McLard and Allison, the world record contender for the most cell phone text transmissions in an hour.  It takes a very good movie to be worth this.
Manatees love Matinees
Matinee Worthy: This movie was good enough that it really deserves to be experienced on the big screen, but you can muster up the patience to see it during the day when the tickets are cheaper and the crowds are thinner (with the exception of Mr. McLard, of course).
 It's a red box, get it?  Reminds me a little of Husker Du, actually.
Video Viewer: This movie wouldn’t be wasting your hard earned dollar if you picked it up at your local Redbox to fill an otherwise unoccupied Friday night.
It's Devo, not like Il Divo.  That would be lame.
Devo it: If it comes around on TV, pick it up on the Tivo (or if you’re like me, your local cable company DVR that you call Devo) and give it a go.  You can skip the commercials and delete it if it bores you.
Push the button, Frank!
TSPYTWTLM: They Should Pay You To Watch This Lame Movie.  Seriously, avoid it unless you’re looking for some home-spun MST3K action with your friends.