One of the pieces of weekly Idol drivel we usually skip is the group performance, featuring all the remaining contestants.  It’s perpetually so corny as to almost undo any interest I have in the show at all, and the corn factor went way up last week, when it became painfully obvious that the contestants aren’t even singing…they’re lip syncing.  The advanced choreography is too much to handle when you have to sing as well, I guess.

I hadn’t ever really thought about the fact that they would lip sync those numbers before last week, but know it’s all I see when I watch them, and it makes the performances all the more hilarious because of how hard they’re trying to look like they’re actually singing.  It was totally cracking me up last night watching them pull their best “singing with fervor” faces along with the pre-recorded track.

But the gem of the evening came when Scott MacIntyre (the blind one), who I’m really, really bored with by now and ready to dismiss, had a vocal solo at the piano and, just as he had been instructed I’m sure, put on his intense emotional vocalist face and sang his heart out…while the microphone on its stand was about a foot to the left of his mouth.

Call me cruel, if you will, but I laughed and laughed; not at Scott, but at the whole ridiculous performance being unraveled right there. My wife made the golden comment then: “Wow, it’s kinda hard to lip sync if you’re blind.”

Nice try, Fox.

Unfortunately, at the time of writing, this week’s (last night’s) episode had not yet been posted to NBC’s web site, but the previous week’s episode is there.

In both cases, the entire episode is great, but you only need watch the first minute or two, prior to the introduction theme and credits, to enjoy the feast.

Bon Apetit.

So I watch American Idol.  There are a lot of people around my office who try to ridicule me for admitting that (all of whom I’m convinced watch the show in secret themselves), but in my opinion, the show is pretty entertaining, especially at the beginning when you get to watch all the lunatics who just want to get on TV.

Well I think I’ve about had all I can stand of the show after last night’s episode, in which the eight wildcard hopefuls were selected by the judges.  Here’s my issue: if the producers of the show were even thinly masking their shameless ploys for ratings in the past, they’ve stepped right out into the open now by picking Tatiana Del Toro as a wildcard possibility.  She is quite possibly the single most obnoxious, ridiculous, annoying person living on the planet today, and the fact that the judges continue to advance her through from round to round can only mean that they know how annoying she is, and that America will watch because they can’t stand her.  Good quality singers got snubbed from the wildcard round last night so this girl could go through and Idol could boost its ratings.  In my opinion, that pretty much obliterates the credibility of the show and the claim the judges make so often over the course of each season that “This is a singing contest.”

Yeah, right.

It’s a selling contest, plain and simple.  The judges have used the word “commercial” about the contestants enough this season already to make the price tags plain to see.  I have no problem with that part of it, it’s the shameless ploys for ratings that drive me nuts.  So pay attention, Idol: your ploys are backfiring.  The annoying people you put through are so nails-down-a-chalkboard grating to my nerves that I can’t stand to watch anymore.  If Tatiana gets through to the top 12 tonight, I’m done with the show for good, I swear it.

Also, on a side note, I think this year’s crop of contestants pretty much stinks.  It’s gonna come down to Danny Gokey and Lil Rounds for the finals, that much is as good as scripted.  The group of people that performed last night was awful for the most part.  And does anybody notice a trend with the judges?  Jorge Nunez was okay, but not phenomenal, but the judges lauded over him like crazy because he’s “living the dream,” coming from Puerto Rico to Hollywood and all that.  Scott MacIntyre (the blind guy) seems like a genuinely nice guy, and with the piano he’s good, but his voice alone is really not that spectacular, but Kara actually said, “You move mountains when you take the stage.”  Huh?  Move mountains?  Really?  It just seemed all a little too affirmative action to my taste. Even Danny Gokey, whose voice I like, seems to be getting a lot of play because of his story, his wife having recently passed away and all.

So if it’s really a singing contest, let’s stick to the singing.  That’s my final word.

Sadly, even with the added benefit of the DVR, I still found myself being peppered by social commentary rife with assumed moral superiority by the most socialist, most permissive, least moral people in the world.

Take, for example, the weepy tirade given by Dustin Lance Black, the writer of the gay-fest, Milk.  I won’t even re-print it here because it doesn’t deserve the press, but suffice it to say that he won the hearts of Hollywood with his tearful hopes of one day falling in love and getting married…to a man.  Ugh.

My favorite line of the night though, and most indicative of my point, was from Tilda Swinton during the presentation of the Best Supporting Actress Oscar.  First, let me preface by saying that the format for the major award presentations this year was a sickening exercise in sychophantism.   With five nominees in each category, the Academy decided to have five previous winners arrive on stage to introduce this year’s nominees.  But it wasn’t just introductions, it was a love-fest of elitist drivel, speaking of the art of acting and the performances by each nominee as if they had done something actually significant.  You would have thought that they had saved Africa (a favorite, though rarely-visited pet preach of the celeb-elites) by the sheer force of their acting.

Anyway, during one such moment, Tilda Swinton was introducing nominee Marisa Tomei, nominated for her role as the stripper love-interest of Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler. Now, brace yourself: you are about to be so deeply moved with elightenment and higher understanding as imparted by Hollywood that you will never consider strippers in the same way again.  Said Swinton, “[your performance] showed us that a stripper needn’t ever take off her dignity with her clothes.”

Is that a choir of angels I hear?  Yes!  I see clearly now!  Strippers are dignified, beautiful creatures who never have drug habits or STD’s!  Poor strippers!  They have been so misunderstood!  All this time I thought they just got paid to remove their clothes; but no.  They are here to teach us about dignity.

So, anyway, on the whole, the show was actually very boring, what little of it I actually watched.  The production as a whole was seriously the worst I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying a lot.  In the past, under the skillful control of such great hosts as Billy Crystal and Steve Martin, we would at least be served by a healthy dose of “are we really taking ourselves this seriously?”  But such was not the case this year.  The excuse given was that, in such troubled economic times (and don’t think that’s not a “hate Bush” message thinly veiled), it wasn’t socially conscious to do a big production, so they had to tone it down.  The reality is, Hollywood lost a TON of money this year so they just had to return to the “sell Hollywood” motif, which they certainly tried to do.

As host, Jackman had little face time, with a couple of big musical numbers mixed in, which only revealed that he actually can’t sing that well and, in my opinion, dropped his stock almost as precipitously as the Dow Jones in recent days.

So, to summarize, it’s not like I really expected much different, but this year was exceptionally appalling with its obvious anti-Proposition 8 agenda and willful encouragement of moral degradation.  The end result is that I’m actually, finally pretty much ready to boycott Hollywood for good.  And I mean that literally, I’m ready to leave Hollywood behind, eliminating it entirely from my experience, in exchange for good.  It’s ever more apparent that the two are becoming mutually exclusive.

I’ve been warming up to the series, a little, this season after a couple of seasons of cooling.  As I contended in a previous post, I find it hard to believe that the writers actually have any idea where they are going with the show.  That may not be exactly accurate.  After last night’s episode, I’m afraid the problem may be an even worse kind of disease: they know where they are going, at least in broad strokes, but they’re just not very good at getting there.

SPOILER ALERT: Again, if you haven’t seen it, don’t read it.

Case in point: The Oceanic 6 are trying to return to the island for reasons I’ll not get into in this post.  They meet up with a woman (Faraday’s mother) who is apparently the world’s leading expert on island affairs (second only to her son, perhaps). She informs them that the island is constantly moving through time, and that her son and his team have invented a way to track its movements through time to a high degree of probability.  It has something to do with a big pendulum like the ones you see in science museums (so if you see one of those, look for islands).

So, as the island moves, there are apparently “windows” in time that open, allowing objects–say…planes maybe–to pass through.  This is the key to getting back to the island.

Now, in discovering this key to returning to the island, which in this particular case involves a plane flight from the US to Guam, they also learn, thanks to Mama Faraday, that they must try to “recreate” the original flight as closely as possible.

???

See…you lost me.  You had me for a second.  I was getting intrigued because it sounded like we might actually be getting some answers at last, some glimpse of the grand vision of the show; but then you lost me.  Why on Earth would it be necessary to recreate the original flight?  What possible difference could that make?  Are you saying that if you don’t recreate it, it might not work and you might not get back to the island?  If that’s true, how could it possibly work when at best you’re going to have all of six of the original, what…200 plus passengers?  They have the wrong dead guy (Locke instead of Jack’s dad), too.  Oh, but you gave him something that belonged to Jack’s dad, oh…that makes it ok then! (hint: italics = sarcasm.)  Ok, so maybe the requirement is not the dead guy, just a dead guy.  Fair enough, but what about Claire?  Kate didn’t have Aaron with her (who once upon a time had some special significance to the island), so at least shouldn’t there be a pregnant lady?  To top it off, Ben was on the flight with them, which wasn’t the case before.

See, there are so many holes, and beyond that, the requirement to “recreate” the original flight feels to me much more like weak and uncreative writing in an attempt to explain why everyone is going back (i.e. extending the show) than it does coherent story telling with some overall vision.

So consider yourself on notice, Lost.  I’m not sure how much patience I have left for this kind of laziness, or worse, ineptitude.

SPOILER ALERT: If you’ve not watched last night’s episode, don’t read!

Ok, in last night’s episode, the remaining island gang (i.e. Locke, Sawyer and the others who are not part of the Oceanic 6) were reunited with the once-thought-to-be-dead Jin.

Well, included among current set of island dwellers is the fairly recently added Charlotte, who revealed last night that she actually grew up on the Island.  She suddenly remembered, in the midst of other goings on, that there was once a scary man that came to the island and told her to leave and that if she ever got off the island, to never come back or else she would die.  She confessed this memory to her shipmate, Daniel Faraday, and then proceeded to tell him that the man who told her this was none other than Daniel himself.

So, the question is this: Since she “just remembered” this experience, do you think that memory had just resurfaced because it actually didn’t exist before?  Do you think that “just remembered” means that she actually just had that experience in some tangential version of the past–a past to which Daniel Faraday, knowing that she was going to die (which she did shortly after this revelation), traveled to warn her after watching her die in his arms?

Secondly, the observation.

Also happening in last’s night’s episode (carried over from the previous episode), the once-thought-to-be Jin was found to be alive.  He was discovered adrift on some flotsam by a group of French sailers in a raft, which turned out to be Danielle Rousseau and her crew…but back when they first landed on the island rather than when we first met her in season 1.

Here’s the problem: if Danielle (and co.) ended up rescuing Jin, wouldn’t she have remembered him when she encountered him those sixteen years later when he ended up on the island after the plane crash?

I welcome all commentary.

So based on the shows I expressed interest in previously, here’s how the season has shaken down:

1. Fringe: Fox keeps calling it their smash hit, but I gave up on it early, and I think MrHattyHat is generally right about it, though I don’t feel so strongly as he does.
2. Knight Rider: I cannot express strongly enough my surprise that this lasted beyond the pilot, which I choked down 15 minutes of before my brain sprouted hands through my ears in order to poke out my eyes.
3. Life on Mars: Pretty lame.  Journeyman was way more interesting by the time it got cancelled.  Dropped it from the DVR after two episodes.
4. Kath & Kim: Not nearly as funny as it might have been.  Dropped it after one episode.
5. My Own Worst Enemy: I dropped this one after four or five episodes, and then it was cancelled.  It had potential but was way too convoluted. 
6. Eleventh Hour: I never actually watched this one.  Too derivative of CSI.
7. Crusoe: By the time this premiered, it was plain to see it was way too closer to the Charmed side of the production value scale, and not near enough to the Rome side, as it was supposed to be.
8. Kings (NBC: Winter): This one’s about to start, but it looks much less interesting now than it sounded before.  I doubt I’ll bother with it.

Other shows I’m watching that are coming back:

1. Bones: Still watching this one.  It probably fits the same criteria as MrHattyHat’s description of 24, but I’m interested in the characters now.  By and large, it’s ridiculous, but still entertaining.  I think the same way about House, which I now watch on USA once in a while.
2. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: I liked this show, but I just never made time for it.  I would probably get it from Netflix sometime and catch up on it.
3. Supernatural: I’m still into this show, but it gets bumped all the time because Thursday is too crowded.  I’ll catch up online.
4. Heroes: Emphatically dropped.
5. Chuck: Still good, still watching. 
6. The Office: I like that its short and funny.  I laughed my butt off after the Super Bowl when Angela threw her cat up into the ceiling.
7. Life: I’m glad this show is seeing a revival.  It’s one of my current favorites.  Charlie Crews is a great character.
8. Pushing Daisies: Still love the writing.  Still watching.
9. CSI: I still like this show, but I haven’t been able to watch much because it’s on crowded Thursdays.  I need to catch up on what I’ve missed.  I think Laurence Fishburne has taken the place of the departed William “Gil Grissom” Petersen, which is a shame, because he was good on the show.
10. Lost: I’m of pretty much the same mind as MrHattyHat on Lost.  I used to really love this show, but its harder and harder to follow.  I’m still invested in the characters, but its starting to lose its grip on me.  The fact that they have to make a whole other show called Lost: Untangled just to explain the show to people can’t be a good thing.  They’ve made the mistake of stretching the mysteries out over too much time, and now when they try to make these big reveals, people just scratch their heads, trying to remember why that particular revelation was significant.  I’m still watching, but its getting closer to the edge.

 

Fringe

I’ve already reviewed this one in the past, so I won’t belabor this one, but suffice it to say, this one still is no good and still stands as a beacon to those silly masses who will apparently buy anything.  How it isn’t yet canceled is beyond me.  I can only attribute that to the fact that there is precious little else that’s more interesting to watch (way to go, extremely creative Hollywood).  If you’re one of those still watching this show, let me quote the immortal words of Ross from You Can’t Do That On Television: “Duuhhonnn’t encourage them, [your name here]!”

Burn Notice

Ok, this isn’t a new one at all.  It has been around for a couple of seasons on USA, but I’ve recently been hearing from friends and family that enjoy the show, so I gave it a chance the other day.  Boy, was that a mistake!  Ok, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be, but the lead character guy (who knows his name) still annoys the crap out of me with his narrow shoulders and weird under-bite.  What’s worse is the dialog, which although isn’t particularly poorly written (I’ve heard worse) comes across as about as exciting and snappy as listening to the audio book of John Houseman reading the “Important Safety Instructions” section of a hair dryer owner’s manual.

And what’s with that chick?  Has she ever actually eaten anything?  She prances around half the time in tiny tank tops and bikinis as if she’s something to look at.  So get this straight ladies: if you want to look good in a bathing suit, you better freaking eat some food.  No guy likes the waif look.  Let me rephrase that: no normal guy likes the waif look.  The ones who do have issues that you don’t want to get mixed up with.

I guess that’s all for the bad.  I really haven’t tried any other shows that are worth mentioning (again).  So on to the good.

24

Now, before you start laughing, keep in mind that I’ll be the first to admit that this show is completely laughable in most of the technical details, and it’s as far-fetched and convenient in its scripting as you can get…and yet, that’s kind of the charm that keeps me coming back.  I get a good laugh, including many good belly laughs, out of it each week as Chloe or other supposed “super-hackers” try to “get in through the sub-net”, or pull up entire 3D models of every building in LA from their remote terminals, complete with infrared markers of the exact positions of all the bad guys (or good guys sometimes) in the building.  I can’t count how many times Jack Bauer and his colleagues “have a visual” (cause apparently it’s too confusing to say “I can see” something?), and if Jack and Tony get any more intense in their whispering, we won’t be able to hear them at all.

All this I recognize as well as any critic; but it’s all kind of what makes the show fun to watch.  Granted, last season–which was actually two years ago–was pretty weak (but hilarious), but this season started off with the two-hour movie introduction which was actually pretty compelling.  The season so far is pretty much like the rest, with predictable twists and the same collection of moral dilemmas, but it’s interesting enough to keep my…well, interest, and funny enough to be worth the time commitment.  (And you have to believe the producers are intending the humor…I mean, casting Mary-Lynn Rajskub as a nerdy computer geek?  Considering her past resume, you know that’s a stroke of comedic genius.)

What I like particularly this year, on a more serious note, is that it’s about the only show on television that is addressing complicated moral issues–like the line between “coerced interrogation” and “torture”–without picking a side and using it’s powerful media voice as a soap box from which to preach.  The fact that it’s not providing the Preacher’s Podium has to be driving the more liberal part of America crazy–including this year’s new cast member, Jeneane Garafalo (or however you spell her name).  She actually even assisted in the interrogation (torture?) of one person on the show this year, which has got to be killing her. (But just wait…I’m convinced that in the end she’ll have her moment of moral authority. Or maybe there’s just not as much prosperity as promised on the venoumous left.)

Lost

I actually have to say, to be fully honest, I don’t really *like* this show, I’m just stuck with it.  I’m so convinced that the writers have no idea where they’re going that I have to keep watching to find out if I’m right.  This season is showing a little more promise, and Atticusser and I discussed it at length and he makes some good points.  It does look now like there might be some over-arching contiguous story that ties everything together, but considering the monsters and polar bears at the beginning that are now all but forgotten, I can’t see the connection yet between the way this season’s story is shaping up and the first season or two.

It’s all very weird for me, too, because I actually find most the cast to be extremely annoying.  Sawyer?  Geez, get over it dude.  We all know you’re not as bad as you portray.  Hurley?  Man, drop a couple and stop whining.  Kate?  Don’t even get me started (at least they finally got her freaking hair out of her face).  Locke?  Is that guy still on the show?  It’s hilarious to me that he runs around most of the time by himself, chasing shadows and generally being the “leader” of a whole lotta nothing.  And the worst of all, Ben.  Does that dude ever blink?

There are some that could be more interesting if they worked on them more.  Mostly just Sayid and Jack.  A couple of seasons ago they had a really great episode that was about Jack, and I started to think I could really get fully on board with the show.  The episode spoke of the tatoo written in Chinese that Jack has on his arm.  The episode reveals that the interpretation is, “He walks among them, but he is not one of them.”  Jack’s final line (you have to see it to get it in context) is great: “That’s what it says, but that’s not what it means.”  With that line, they set him up to be a great character, but it seems like the writers have bailed on it and he’s back to being a depressed burn-out.

Anyway, all in all, the show is still moderately entertaining, but only because I kind of need to know where they’re going, if anywhere.  So I guess they’ve done their jobs in that sense.  I’m still watching, after all.  But we’ll see for how long.

American Idol

Yes, I watch the show and I actually love the show.  Why?  Well, because the auditions are always hilarious.  I mostly can’t stand the judges, but I recognize that it’s a “TV” thing that they have to stick with (although I seriously cannot stand that new chick, Kara DioGuardi).

But really I love the show because I’m a musician, which means I’m a fan of music and the process of making music, so I actually do like to watch the discovery and blossoming of great recording artists.  Now, obviously not every year turns into greatness (Fantasia, Reuben, etc.), and this season, “if I’m being honest,” (to quote Simon) doesn’t show a lot of promise, except for my early winner pick, Danny Gokey.  But there have been some greats discovered, including Chris Daughtry, David Archuleta (young but will have a great pop career), Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood.

So I have my complaints about the format of the show–the “group” auditions which are nothing more than “drama” ploys (can you say ratings?), and the theme weeks–but I enjoy watching the discovery process.

For what it’s worth, I have never voted on any candidate.

Finally, a movie that has to be included:

Taken

Man, this show was intense.  The very definition of a “taught” thriller, because it will keep you muscles taught the whole time.  I won’t go into a long review, but it’s the best, most satisfying action thriller I’ve seen since the original Die Hard.  The subject matter warrants it’s PG-13 rating, as it deals with the very real dangers of a disgusting industry, but it avoids the temptation of going into graphic details, which in my estimation actually makes it a better film.  So don’t take the wife if she’s squeemish, but my wife loved it.  (Being a news junkie, she has read much about this horrible trade industry, so we both enjoyed watching the perps pay the ultimate price under Liam Neeson’s heavy hands, even if only in fantasy land.)

So that’s it.  My reviews of the entertainment world so far this year/season.  Obviously I’m totally right about all this, so don’t bother debating me.

Ok, ok, you can debate if you want.  (Man, I totally caved.)

I guess for my parting comment I can only say this: with as little creativity as there is left in Hollywood, and with as much self-congratulations as there is going on there (see “Oscars”), it’s really amazing there’s anything left to watch.  So enjoy what you can while you can, cause it seems like it’s only getting worse.

That said, I saw a trailer for an upcoming movie called Push that looks pretty interesting, and I thought, “Now THAT is more like what Heroes should have been.”  So we’ll wait and see if it holds up.

I decided to give Fringe one more chance to catch my interest.

I have only one thing to say: Boring.

And annoying.  And stupid.  And predictable.

(Ok, so that’s four things.)

Suffice it to say that Fringe is permanently off my list.  So far the press on the show claims it’s a hit, invoking such designation as “the best new show.”  That’s really not saying much since there really aren’t many new shows that have actually started yet, but I’m still betting this show doesn’t make it past the first season.  If I’m wrong…well, that will just prove that I’m right: the general public can’t be trusted on issues of judgment.