I typically keep my BYU football banter over on my Thor’s BYU Board site and separate from the Word, but worlds are colliding today because this is a topic that I feel compelled to address.

Why is Max Hall smiling?

I’ll tell you why: because he’s a moron.

Most of you, Word readers, are probably already familiar with the events of this last Saturday, in which rival collegiate football teams BYU and Utah played their annual game (if you can call it that).  It was about the ugliest game I’ve ever watched, marred by a ridiculous number of penalties for personal fouls and unsportsmanlike conduct.  A friend of mine said it well when he told me that we really didn’t get to see which team was better at football.  Too true.

Well BYU came out the victor in a 26-23 overtime result, but the story continued after the game when BYU quarterback Max Hall elected to speak his mind to the press with regard to the Utah football program.  He later issued an apology for the way in which his comments “came out” (and I love that they just came out that way, because he’s not at all responsible for forming the words in his mind and then directing them through his larynx and out his mouth, right?), but this whole thing reaffirmed for me something that I perceived when Max Hall first took the field three years ago: this is one arrogant kid.  He’s got a lot of talent in the game of football, don’t get me wrong, and at times I’ve been very impressed with his skills, but as his collegiate career winds to a close, I can tell you one thing: he will not be missed.  He’s a choke artist who can’t handle the pressure of a big game, who played like an absolute chump in the Utah game, forcing his defense to stay on the field pretty much the entire second half and do all the work, then claims “We deserve this.  We played our guts out,”  and who then sets his rabid ego loose and starts spouting off about how classless Utah is, etc. etc.

Well Max, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

I’m trying hard to remember the post I wrote that was lost, but it’s apparently been erased from my memory now too.  If only I could say the same for this video.  You’ll know what I mean once you watch it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnqqdZZddFE&feature=PlayList&p=CFA0BA940995889C&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=61

I thought I’d kick off the comeback with a winner.

Yes, I’m talking about myself.

Recently (as in the past two days) I was kind of forced by circumstance to migrate all of my hosting to a new server.  It was well time for that to take place anyway, so I made the plans and took care of it.  All in all it actually went pretty well considering I was moving websites, email, databases, etc. all while trying to maintain uninterrupted service to those who benefit from my hosting (that includes this site).

Well, the millions of you who read this blog may notice something conspicuously absent from the post archive: All posts since July!

Yes, that’s right ladies and gentlemen, I lost some data…apparently.  To be honest, I have no idea how it happened either.  Before the old server went offline I synchronized the database files between the two servers, so the new server should have had all the latest from the old server.  But somehow, when this site came back up, it was light a few posts.  It’s very perplexing because it’s not like those posts were stored in their own files that got missed or something.  Theoretically, if the database files related to this blog from the old system got copied to the new system then all the posts should be here, but magically they are not.

So I’m stumped, and my apologies go out to MtyThor and myself–the authors of the only missing posts–and to those who may have had excellent comments on any of the posts (but not those who made dumb comments).

So I guess we’ll just build from here with a parting thought from that oft-quoted orator whose succinct expression of exasperation has never been more appropriate:

D’oh!

P.S. If I figure out what happened and how to fix it, rest assured that I will.

Kick away…hard (that pretty much means you, Atticusser, so do us proud.)

How’s that for fresh content, Gee-rant?

Fortunately for the rest of us, they’ll never overcome their game-universe rivalries in order to band together, or we’d have a real problem on our hands.  Also, the fact that they’ve decided to arm themselves with precise replicas from video games and comic books pretty much wins the battle for our side, as you’ll see from the videos below.

#3 – Retractable Wolverine claws: These are actually pretty cool, and would make great accessories for Halloween.  The guy might even seem dangerous were it not for his having chosen to demonstrate his weapons by leaping (with the help of a discreetly placed exercise trampoline in the background, you’ll notice) fiercely at an unsuspecting cardboard box perched precariously on a cheap barstool in his dorm room.

#2 – Lancer Rifle with Chainsaw Bayonet (Gears of War): This is probably the most overtly dangerous one of the bunch, as it fires actual bullets.  However, as the pumpkins aptly demonstrate, if you hold perfectly still, the wielder stands pretty much a .0001% chance of actually hitting you as he’s rushing toward you and firing into the log at your feet.  When he gets close enough to use the “chainsaw bayonet” you might be in trouble, so I recommend using the convenient pause in combat while he starts up the little motor on his mom’s limb trimmer to either run away or kick the guy in his man parts.

#1 – Cloud Buster Sword (Final Fantasy 7): Again, the first impression is very menacing, especially with the straight from the highlands Scottish blacksmith guy running at you and screaming with that giant sword.  But wait for it…wait for it…The real danger here is when he gets you laughing so hard that you forget to dodge during one of the 30 second periods during which he’s working the blade into what you might call a swing.

So know this, nerds: I’M ON TO YOU!

I’ve resisted all the hype around the latest generation of video game consoles up to this point, but this one commercial might have just convinced me to get a Wii.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEaL8HqufFI

Review: Star Trek

MightyThor’s Rating: 4 / 5 Starfleet Insignias

On Friday night I did something I haven’t done in some time: I braved the opening night crowds to see a major summer blockbuster, in this case the new Star Trek from J.J. Abrams.  The question you, Word readers, are surely asking is, “Was it worth it?”

I’d have to say yes it was.

I’ve heard this film referred to as this year’s Iron Man, and that’s a description that I can get on board with, because like last year’s Iron Man, this was a big summer blockbuster that had some flaws, but overall was really entertaining.  It was very well-cast, well-paced, funny at times, and full of good action.  It avoided getting too heavy or philosophical, which would have been easy to do.  It made fun of its own ancestry in a respectful way.  But the main reason that I liked it was that it was bold. Unfortunately, this also led to one of the main things I disliked about it.

When I say Star Trek was bold I mean that Abrams and his crew had an early decision to make: they could tell an origin story that would have to conform to all the pre-existing, but post-dated material that’s already been established out there for years, or they could fly in the face of everything else that’s been said and done in the Star Trek universe and execute a complete re-boot on the franchise, and the latter is what they went with.  That decision made the film a lot more interesting and surprising than it likely would have been otherwise, and it let them take a cast of well-known characters and give them a new lease on life to take in whatever direction they choose.  This made for a few startling twists and events that made the movie very intriguing, because nothing that had once been set in stone could be considered untouchable anymore.  So bravo to Abrams for taking that kind of leap.

Now, unfortunately for me, I’m not a big fan in general of the plot device employed to pull this bold re-hash off: MINOR SPOILER ALERT (highlight for the info, which I promise is not giving away much): the plot pivots on a time-travel premise, spinning off an alternate universe than the one we have seen previously.  I’m not a fan of time-travel stories by rule, they’re always messy and seem to have a million logic holes.

Still, in spite of this one area that was a sticky point for me, the story was engaging and interesting throughout.

Perhaps the biggest victory for the whole enterprise (get it) was the casting of the principal characters, those we know from the old days.  I thought the young actors, Chris Pine in particular, did a fantastic job of bringing these characters to life in a realistic way, when it would have been all too easy to just do a hammy imitation of the old crew members.  It’s hard to describe this except to say that I felt like the actors got to know the motives behind the mannerisms and portrayed the characters from those much deeper waters, rather than just regurgitating the same old well-known quips and cliches, although the most famous lines found their way in appropriately.  So it was really fun to watch the young versions of those characters bloom as the story unfolded.  Of all of them, I thought Karl Urban’s Dr. “Bones” McCoy was the most copycat, which bugged me just a bit at first, but grew on me as the film progressed and he settled into the role.  Sulu, Uhura, Scotty, Spock and Kirk all did a great job of painting the picture of what these familiar characters might have been like at the beginning, and I think they did right by the material.

Star Trek was a big undertaking, and unlike some other properties of like magnitude that were reborn with less than stellar results, this one looks to have been given some new legs.  I hope Abrams and those who follow him take it down the path of some of the recent more successful rebirths so Star Trek will keep looking better than ever with age.

Catching up some more on my Netflix reviews, which are way behind by now:

Review: FireFly / Serenity

MightyThor’s Rating: 4 / 5 FireFly Class Spaceships

Firefly wasn’t on TV for long, but built a big cult following, and the fans of it are devoted.  I thought the show was pretty good, getting better as it went along, but the movie Serenity that spun off from it was excellent, one of the better Sci-Fi outings I’ve seen in a long time.  I recommend watching the TV show episodes first (there are only about 15 of them) to get the full flavor of the show, which really adds to the movie, but all in all, definitely worth watching.

Review: Eragon

MightyThor’s Rating: 2.5 / 5 Dragons

It was a pretty average fantasy movie.  Honestly, it was better than I expected, and based on the terribly written book it was drawing from (which I could only choke down about half of), you might call it an admirable adaptation, but in the end it was no better than average.  I didn’t love it or hate it.

Review: The Last Legion

MightyThor’s Rating: 1.5 / 5 Excaliburs

This was a really lame movie from top to bottom.  You know how studios do that lame copycat thing where they release the same movies under different titles to piggyback off each other?  (Think Rob Roy vs. Braveheart, Wyatt Earp vs Tombstone, Volcano vs. Dante’s Peak, The Arrival vs. Independence Day etc.)  Well this was a really poor answer to King Arthur, I think.  The acting was lame, the fight coreography was innane, the plot was weak.  You’re casting Colin Firth as the lead action hero and hoping Sir Ben Kingsley can save the day by his mere presence, but unfortunately Kingsley’s credibility isn’t too high with me anymore after he somehow agreed to do Bloodrayne.  At any rate, skip this one.

Review: Twilight

MightyThor’s Rating: 2.5 / 5 Vampire Teeth

I was fully expecting to hate the crap out of this movie, because I read the book, and to put it kindly, I hated the crap out of it.  That’s not entirely fair.  In truth, I never should have read it, because I am clearly not the target audience, and whatever I have to say against it, Stephanie Meyers knows exactly who she’s writing for.  But I actually liked the movie better than the book, mostly because the movie was able to distill the pages and pages of teen vampire love angst (”Oh Edward!  Oh Edward!  He touched me, and my breath caught in my…*HURL!*) down into a manageable few moments.  There are still a lot of aspects of the whole Twilight story that come through in the same way that I hated from the book, but by virtue of cutting away all the excess to fit the story into a movie frame, the movie was much more tolerable than the book.

Review: Live Free or Die Hard

MightyThor’s Rating: 3.5 / 5 Exploding Computers

Exploding computers, you ask?  Well yes, because that’s what this movie is, really.  The same old formula of Bruce Willis blowing stuff up or running from stuff blowing up, but this time, the enemy is a sophisticated and COMPLETELY PLAUSIBLE cyber-terrorist.  You just have to set aside all the ridiculousness of the plot and watch this movie for what it is: a glut of action.  I knew all along how awesomely lame the stunts and plot twists were, but I was quite entertained all the same, and I thought this one was better than Die Hard 2 and 3.

I have a few more to do, but this post is lengthy already, so I’ll add next ones another time.

Almost 2 weeks ago I did something that I’m pretty sure none of you, nor most people in America, were willing to do. I watched the premier of Harper’s Island on CBS. I’ll pause for a moment to allow for groans, mocking laughter and/or puzzled looks…

Then last week, I did what was most certainly not repeated by anyone else on the planet. I watched the second episode! And in the interest of full disclosure, I fully intend to watch episode 3 this Thursday as well. In fact, I have no intention of ceasing my viewership nor canceling my series recording. Why? Because taken at face value, the show is actually pretty fun to watch. And I mean that in the most Sci-Fi Original Pictures sense of the term.

The following is a rundown of the show’s most redeeming qualities:

• Archetypes Abound: Pretty much every character is taken from that virtual script in the sky for cheesy, overblown, melodramatic, shallow soon-to-be-redshirts. This is one area where the SFOP formula really shines through. We have the stuffy foreigner, the jaded local redneck, the star-crossed lovers, the brooding teen (2 of them), the soothsaying child, the frat boy buddies, the disapproving wealthy father-in-law, the square-jawed ex-boyfriend looking to spoil the wedding, etc, etc. They even managed to get an aging, has-been celebrity in Harry Hamlin to fill a cameo role, or what you might call a cameo if he wasn’t obviously so desperate for the work. Oddly enough, there’s no butler.
• Formulaic Plot Points: The show is literally a carbon copy of dozens of other murder mysteries done throughout the years.  That’s really what makes it work. You know what to expect, and you get it. It’s not an attempt to put a new spin on an old favorite. It IS the old favorite. A wedding that reunites a group of people on the site of a mass-murder spree by which they were all affected in some way? Classic.
• Gratuitous Jump Scenes: These are a given. Otherwise we would never be able to ask the question “why do people in tense movie moments always grab you on the shoulder or slap their hand over your mouth?” The best thing about these is how the writers try to justify them by having the characters say things like “I called your name but I guess you didn’t hear me”. Yeah right.
• Gratuitous Gore: In the first episode we had one person dismembered by a boat prop and one person chopped in half at the waist (that one was particularly gratifying, considering who the character was. SPOILER: It was Harry Hamlin aka Uncle Marty!) Bonus points are awarded here for brutality tempered with creativity.
• Gratuitous (Almost) Hanky-Panky: OK, I’m not really looking for this, but of course there couldn’t be a murder if somebody didn’t decide to go skinny-dipping or get busy in the woods.
• Unlikely Setting: Speaking of woods, how about an Island with an old Inn, a picturesque lighthouse, few residents, and acres and acres of unexplored deep woods that apparently must be crossed for any character to reach any other destination.
• Quality Acting: OK, this is tongue in cheek, but the acting is not so bad (save for a few characters) that you can’t stand to watch. It’s just bad enough. Couple this with the next point, and you’re playing with house money.
• Ridiculous Dialogue: How else can you highlight the bad acting?
• Even More Ridicuous Accents: There’s really only one of these, but it’s a doozy.
• A Director Who Can Somehow Pull It All Together: Jon Turteltaub. Unfortunately, he’s only onboard for a couple of episodes as director, but at least he’ll still be around as Exec. Producer.
• BONUS – Webisodes: I haven’t watched these but they’re on harpersglobe.com.

Ultimately, I think what works for this show is the fact that it doesn’t seem to take itself too seriously. As Simon Cowell would say, it knows what it is. It’s campy. It’s ridiculous. It’s awesome! The only thing the CBS executives missed is putting CSI: in front of the title. That might just prove to be it’s ratings downfall. And if it gets canceled and I never find out whodunit, I’ll be ticked. So start watching!

And for what it’s worth, my money is on the sheriff.

Giant snapping turtles violently attacking college kids on spring break at Lake Powell.  Oooh…the menace!  The role of Dr. Boobs hasn’t been cast yet, but we’re pretty sure we can get former Miss Hawaiian Tropic Scarlett Chorvat.

We’re not officially in negotions with the Sci Fi Channel yet, but we think we’re on the right track with our pitch.  Thanks to Mrs. MightyThor for the story concept.