Atticusser: sup
MightyThor: What is oop?
Atticusser: I saw an awesome movie on the Sci-fi channel over the weekend
MightyThor: Oh yeah?
Atticusser: starring none other than John Rhys-Davies
MightyThor: WAS IT SABERTOOTH??????
Atticusser: NO!!!!!!
Atticusser: that was the most amazing part
MightyThor: Oh man. That has to be the greatest movie ever put out by Sci Fi.
Atticusser: obviously you haven't seen Chupacabra: Dark Seas
MightyThor: Ooooh...no I haven't.
MightyThor: Sounds intriguing.
Atticusser: I Tivo'd it because it was on late and I was afraid I would fall asleep and miss the end
MightyThor: Well of course.
Atticusser: what a fool I was! How could you sleep with such gripping action and groundbreaking acting?
MightyThor: And I imagine the special effects were second to none.
Atticusser: oh most definitely
Atticusser: I didn't mention them because they were so good that I had forgotten they were special effects at all
MightyThor: Wow, that is truly incredible. I was sure they could never exceed the fine work performed in the making of the timeless classic Sabretooth.
Atticusser: I'm sure they used the tremendous profits had from Sabretooth to finance the masterpiece that is Chupacabra: Dark Seaes
Atticusser: without the e
MightyThor: That was a very shrewd investment on their part.
Atticusser: the extra e is for "Especially good"
Atticusser: http://www.scifi.com/chupacabra/
Atticusser: the picture of the hero guy is a perfect representation of how good his acting was
MightyThor: WHY DID YOU SEND ME THAT????
MightyThor: THAT CHUPACABRA IS TERRIFYING TO LOOK UPON!!!!!
Atticusser: unfortunately, from the picture you don't get a good enough sense of the chupacabra's distinctly human-sized-costume-like qualities
MightyThor: Ooh, I bet that made it seem all the more dastardly.
MightyThor: As though it may have once been human, or it may be a human just beneath the foam rubber coating.
MightyThor: What is this, the Love Boat?
Atticusser: kind of
Atticusser: IF YOU LOVE BEING EATEN BY THE CHUPACABRA!!!
Atticusser: Ah the sea! The perfect vantage point... FOR DISASTER!
MightyThor: Nice
MightyThor: We should have a party on Thursday, Feb. 24 at 7PM ET/PT to watch Silent Warnings
MightyThor: A remarkably talented young cast — abetted by a wildly entertaining Stephen Baldwin as a paramilitary paranoiac and by Billy Zane's fresh and utterly non-clichéd depiction of a small-town sheriff — helps turn this suspenseful alien-abduction story into compelling human drama.
MightyThor: Does it sound like they're really trying to convince themselves of a few things?
MightyThor: Billy Zane's perfomance was not only non-cliched, it was fresh and UTTERLY non-cliched.
MightyThor: Deep Shock = The Abyss Too?
MightyThor: So...will John Rhys-Davies pretty much take any part that someone sticks in front of him? I would think LOTR would have improved his castability a bit.
Atticusser: John Rhys-Davies (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Sliders) co-stars as the ship's captain in this high-seas slaughterfest.
Atticusser: that says it all
Atticusser: slaughterfest
MightyThor: Yes, very descriptive.
Atticusser: also, no mention ofLOTR
MightyThor: I wonder if it was filmed before and Sci Fi has simply acquired it, hoping to play on his LOTR fame.
Atticusser: I tell you what, I'll watch anything starring Lance Henriksen, Judd Nelson and former Miss Hawaiian Tropic Scarlett Chorvat
MightyThor: Is that Sasquatch?
Atticusser: Lost Voyage
MightyThor: Man, they've got all the good shows.
MightyThor: How could they ever get Lance Henriksen AND Judd Nelson on the same screen? They must have spent a fortune!
Atticusser: I notice that Sean Astin is also on the Sc-fi channel career hit list
MightyThor: Yeah, I saw that.
MightyThor: Another one whose career didn't jump start quite the way he was hoping from LOTR.
Atticusser: don't forget about former Miss Hawaiian Tropic Scarlett Chorvat
MightyThor: Of course not.
MightyThor: Riverworld sounds awesome.
Atticusser: an astronaut battles an ancient Roman for the soul of humanity
MightyThor: Gripping.
Atticusser: you can't make that stuff up
MightyThor: LOL
MightyThor: Get this: In Silent Warnings (a.k.a. Signs Too?) "Filmmaker Christian McIntire, who directed SCI FI Pictures' Lost Voyage and Antibody and produced and edited the independent hit Interceptor Force, has taken his work to a new level, his camera eye going from vertiginous fluidity to morning-light naturalism as each scene's emotional content demands."
MightyThor: Vertiginous fluidity?
MightyThor: Sounds like a good name for a rock band (a la Dave Barry).
Atticusser: sounds like something from a feminine hygiene product commercial
MightyThor: No kidding.
Atticusser: I was so sick the other day, I was spewing vertiginous fluid all over the place
MightyThor: Eww. I hate when that happens.
MightyThor: OH OH OH!!!!
MightyThor: The best is yet to come...
MightyThor: ...Mansquito (Premieres March 12)
"A scientist trying to find a cure for the West Nile Virus accidentally transforms herself and a junkie into mutant mosquito creatures."
MightyThor: I bet that one's based on a true story.
Atticusser: I wanna know how I missed Project: Metalbeast
MightyThor: I want to know why everything they make has to have a colon: in it.
Atticusser: and John Rhys-Davies
Atticusser: that's it, I'm Tivoing everything by SciFi pictures
MightyThor: Me too.
Atticusser: they should just call it "Some Lame Sci-Fi Movie: John Rhys-Davies"
MightyThor: As long as they have the colon in there.
Atticusser: or "John Rhys-Davies: Not Really Trying"
Atticusser: or possibly "John Rhys-Davies: His Own Agent, and It Shows"
MightyThor: I like that last one.
MightyThor: Are you seeing the Alien Vs. Predator banner on the right side of the screen?
MightyThor: "Loaded with extras including an alternate beginning!"
Atticusser: alternate beginning?
MightyThor: Yeah, that's not something you see every day.
Atticusser: I hope it's the one where the movie never really happens at all
Atticusser: AVP is certainly sci-fi pictures material
MightyThor: The alternate beginning probably involves Lance Henrikson on a conference call with Sigourney Weaver, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Danny Glover, asking them for advice on how to make the next two hours as lame and implausible as possible.
MightyThor: And I bet Gary Busey was knocking on his door, begging to be included...or at least to be given a sandwich or something.
MightyThor: Even Sci Fi won't take Busey.
Atticusser: Don't forget Billy Zane and Stephen Baldwin trying to get in on the action
MightyThor: I think they were tied up in post-production or with one of their upcoming TNT originals.
Atticusser: and it all comes together when John Rhys-Davies starts making out with former Miss Hawaiian Tropic Scarlet Chorvat
MightyThor: And then the predator shows up.
MightyThor: The end.
MightyThor: ?
MightyThor: I mean: the end?
Atticusser: AVPVC
Atticusser: AVPVC: UC
MightyThor: What does that stand for?
Atticusser: Alien vs. Predator vs. Chupacabra: Unnecessary Colon
MightyThor: LOL
MightyThor: Hang on...I'm going to copy this chat and email it to Sci Fi. We're going to be their sensational new writing team.
MightyThor: We're gonna be hundredaires.
Atticusser: the beauty of AVPVC: UC is that whoever wins the battle could win because it was born with an extra colon and thus has some special ability
Atticusser: or maybe the other 2 just die of colon cancer
Atticusser: ooh, the chupacabra could get colon cancer from having too much red meat in it's diet
MightyThor: Yeah...in the heat of battle, just before our protagonist falls...he calls upon the unforeseen power of his second colon and unleashes the unrivaled might of Vertiginous Fluidity!
Atticusser: spit take
MightyThor: He totally douses the other guy and melts him with his vertiginous fluid.
MightyThor: Whatever the crap that is.
Atticusser: thanks for making me waste half my sprite
MightyThor: It must be a predator thing...or an alien thing.
MightyThor: Sorry about your Sprite.
Atticusser: that's alright, it's not like it was vertiginous fluid or something
MightyThor: Maybe it was, we don't know.
MightyThor: Maybe that's all vertiginous fluid is: Sprite. You should read the ingredients.
MightyThor: Carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup, vertiginous fluid, ascorbic acid...
Atticusser: ver·tig·i·nous    ( P )  Pronunciation Key  (vr-tj-ns)
adj. Turning about an axis; revolving or whirling.
Atticusser: that doesn't make it any clearer
MightyThor: Nope, afraid not.
Atticusser: must have been on the word of the day calendar at Sci-fi channel HQ
MightyThor: I don't think that actually clarifies the original context either. I think the Sci Fi description writers are just making up words like we were the other day.
Atticusser: and the next day it was "Mansquito"
MightyThor: LOL
MightyThor: Yeah, you really can't make that stuff up.
MightyThor: I'm going to re-introduce the Last Word, and these chats will be a featured section. The world really needs to read this stuff.
Atticusser: at least as much as they need to see Chupacabra: Dark Seas
MightyThor: It's absolutely critical.
MightyThor: Without it we will surely slip back into the dark ages, leaving behind reason, enlightenment, and the sheer quality of late night cable Tv.
Atticusser: quote of the day from C: DS "I'm the best insurance you've got!"
MightyThor: Nice.
Atticusser: imagine it delivered by Dylan Neal and you can see the Oscar potential in it's full vertiginous fluidity
MightyThor: You should keep that on your Tivo so we can watch it sometime.
MightyThor: I can see it now...very vertiginous
Atticusser: I said CONSUMMATE Vs! CONSUMMATE!
Atticusser: I'm gonna wait for the director's cut of Deep Shock though
MightyThor: Guy wouldn't know majesty if it came up and bit him.
MightyThor: Yeah. From the spoilers I read online, DS: DC had a way better alternate middle twenty minutes.
Atticusser: is there an astronaut who battles an ancient Roman? Cause that would be really cool.
Atticusser: My money's on the roman
MightyThor: That was before the freakin' studio execs made him take out the love scene between the Electric Eel and former Miss Hawaiian Tropic Scarlett Chorvat.
MightyThor: They said it was too racy...I say it was purely artistic.
MightyThor: How the crap did we miss Pythons 1 and 2????
MightyThor: Oh man...
Atticusser: I don't know, but I'm utterly non-cliched about it!
MightyThor: Now they're just admiting that they know no one reads their websites:
MightyThor: I quote: "Ssssee the sssscintillating ssssequel starring Pythons' Billy Zabka, Twin Peaks' Dana Ashbrook and the devastating Simmone Jade MacKinnon (Allie Reese on Baywatch, N'Kara in the miniseries Attila)."
MightyThor: http://www.scifi.com/onair/scifipictures/pythons2/
Atticusser: "In a real world where the government tried creating bomb-carrying dolphins, and where fish DNA is in our potatoes and corn, can bioengineered giant snakes be far behind?"
MightyThor: Check out the picture...the guy's like, "You want to me to be in a sequel?"
Atticusser: I don't know where to begin.
MightyThor: Wow, I hadn't read that part.
MightyThor: "A living weapon for jungle warfare ... a reluctant CIA agent ... a disgraced American civilian ... a secret Russian military base ... and a redheaded knockout as explosive as anything in a missile silo."
Atticusser: wait, is the python the reluctant CIA agent?
MightyThor: Boy, it's like they combined six movies into one...and as if that weren't enough, they topped it off with a redheaded knockout, etc. etc.
MightyThor: No, the python is the secret Russian military redheaded knockout.
MightyThor: Allie Reese has really taken a step up from playing N'Kara in the miniseries Attila.
MightyThor: Which also starred Powers Booth, by the way.
Atticusser: What? No John Rhys-Davies?
MightyThor: He plays the voice of the python.
MightyThor: It was his first musical.
Atticusser: Treebeard?
MightyThor: He went to kill the devastating Simmone Jade MacKinnon, but overwhelmed by a guilty second colon, he instead burst into a rousing rendition of, "There'sss sssomething about your face."
Atticusser: Sideshow Bob?
MightyThor: It was in tribute.
Atticusser: well throw a Kelsey Grammer in there and I'm sold
MightyThor: It could be a duet.
MightyThor: It is Pythons 2, after all.
Atticusser: Writing Credits: Students from Mrs. Johanson's Intro to Creative Writing class at Gary Jr. High in Gary, Indiana
MightyThor: Those kids are prodigies.
Atticusser: in collaboration with [*Name removed for protection against litigation. Please insert the name of the pyscho hyper-feminist creative writing professor of your choice*]
Atticusser: had to throw her in
MightyThor: Throw her into a pit with the pythons?
MightyThor: They would all be lesbian serpents if it were up to her, except that somehow they couldn't be snake-shaped, because that's obviously a phallic symbol.
Atticusser: holy cow, we have a major oversight here
Atticusser: Alien Siege is starring none other than Carl Weathers
Atticusser: nice, btw
MightyThor: Oh, I saw that.
MightyThor: I was working my way up to it.
Atticusser: so what you're saying is boob-shaped snakes have taken over a secret russian military base in order to defeat the Mansquito who just happens to have abducted John Rhys-Davies and Sean Astin, but whose mortal enemy, the Chupacabra, has reluctantly teamed up with the CIA in an effort to summon the spirits of Dylan Neal, Brad Johnson, Billy Zane and Lance Henricksen?
Atticusser: oh, missed "from a mysterious ghost ship"
MightyThor: Yes, and all the while the devastating Simmone Jade MacKinnon is discovering her true feelings for a redheaded knockout as explosive as anything in a missile silo, played by former Miss Hawaiian Tropic Carl Weathers..
Atticusser: who will team up with an Astronaut and an Ancient Roman with hilarious consequences!
Atticusser: but the fate of a colony of giant, intelligent, alien electric eels hangs in the balance.
Atticusser: and the soul of humanity is the price to be paid... for revenge!
MightyThor: Can we find a place in this film for The Rock?
Atticusser: oh yes, and The ROCK!
MightyThor: WAIT!!! WAAAAAAAIT!!!!!
MightyThor: JUDD NELSON!!!
MightyThor: This movie would not be complete without Judd Nelson and Stephen Baldwin.
MightyThor: Maybe they can be part of the alternate beginning.
MightyThor: Okay, so from Lost Voyage:
MightyThor: "The cruise ship Corona Queen mysteriously disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle in 1972. Three decades later, it suddenly resurfaces in the Atlantic Ocean — devoid of life but looking miraculously like new. The producer of a tabloid TV series (Janet Gunn) spies a human-interest angle in a paranormal researcher (Judd Nelson) whose parents were lost aboard that very vessel. Slipping in undetected by the Coast Guard — thanks to a well-placed bribe to a cruise-line troubleshooter (Lance Henriksen) and his salvagers — she and her field crew find themselves facing a worsening storm, internecine betrayals, and the terrible acts they've committed in their lives. And that's before the murderous, vengeful spirits arrive...."
MightyThor: See if you can guess the Word of the Day on the calendar when they wrote that blurb.
Atticusser: the entire plot sounds internecine to me
MightyThor: Nice